You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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