Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
