dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
