Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
What a dumb baby whore.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
