Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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