Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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