So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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