hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You pole danced in your parka.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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