I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
