What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
