So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
