Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
