I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
