I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
