Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
