We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
