He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize