Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
