Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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