do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
