I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
