your parents love me but you hate me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
