Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
