i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
