Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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