I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
