i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
