Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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