All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize