After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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