So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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