their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yo dont text me then not text me
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
