And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize