i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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