We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
