how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it was like eating out sand paper
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
