Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
