Plan B is the new Plan A
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
