he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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