having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize