Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you win again, gameday.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
