Plan B is the new Plan A
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
