Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I will be naked everywhere
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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