im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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