she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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