Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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