why didn't you poke me back
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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