I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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