dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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