just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
