Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize