you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
