I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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