$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
