Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
