I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I supernannyed him into submission
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
