Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
