You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
