Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
