Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize