When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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