youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
