fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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