Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
