I can't watch pbs sober anymore
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
