I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
