I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
