We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
