I feel great
I just peed on a car
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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