so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
