just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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